As we approach a full year of uncertainty, lockdowns, and tiers it seems propitious timing for reflection. However, we have a choice. We can reflect on the negative or the positive. COVID has been the mother of all clouds but I think we can all find some silver linings. This series of posts aims to reflect upon the lessons I have learned during this time.
These posts are shared primarily in the hope that their message resonates with you, potentially prompting you to identify your own “Lockdown Lessons”. Ever since I read James Smith’s “Not a Life Coach” book I have a folder on my phone saved as “Advice Not To fall On Deaf Ears” and a lot of these posts come from the messages that folder has collected over the last couple of months.
The first of which is my relationship with the gym. Now I don’t just mean being active and training, I mean specifically attending the gym. Before lockdown, I would regularly be in the gym "training" 5 times a week minimum. The aim however would always be 6, and often not achieving this felt like a failure.
How efficient my workouts were, the intensity or the quality of my training didn’t matter. It was all about being able to say to myself I went X number of times for X amount of time.
A weekend visiting friends or family in Glasgow was attached with guilt. Travelling down on a Friday meant that fitting in a gym session was harder. Therefore, more pressure was placed on hitting the gym on the Saturday, my only full day at home, and on Sunday, the day I was leaving. As you can imagine that significantly impacts the time you have and the structure of your day is controlled by something unrelated to the reason you are travelling home in the first place! Priorities for f*** sake Lee!
So why is it that, what is deemed a healthy habit, can develop into such a negative relationship? For me, a big part of it was a coping mechanism. The gym, as it has become for so many others, was a sanctuary. A place where, when I initially started going, I could put on my headphones and escape. That habit has been enforced over years to the point where even saying I had attended the gym outweighed the progress I saw regarding performance or even aesthetically.
It became a crutch. Like that partner that isn’t good for you anymore, but you stay with them because of all the things you have been through together. But is that really a good enough reason to be in that relationship? Especially if that relationship is the reason you don’t see friends, you don’t see family, and all else that is important to you deteriorates in its essence.
Lockdown taking the gym away from me became the equivalent of being dumped by the person you are dating. You can b**** and moan all you want but they aren’t getting back with you and the gym sure as s*** isn’t going to open just for you. There was no choice but to get over it and move on.
Unlike an actual relationship where I would advise (through personal experience) taking some "you" time. I needed something to replace going to the gym because I actually have always enjoyed being active. It is just that my definition of what this is had become warped. I could not say I had been active unless I had been to the gym.
As I looked for something to fill that void, I went on the training equivalent of dates. I tried running, cycling, bodyweight workouts, walks, and I even started open water swimming. My flatmate even got me on a couple of walks where every bench meant 20 incline push-ups. At least it was push-ups on the benches and not trying to deadlift them. He'd have kicked my arse at that but push-ups we were a lot more even at!
I enjoyed the variety, but I was by no means consistent and I still had that worry about performance when I went back to the gym. Although I said earlier that performance wasn't the number one priority, it was a priority, and it became an irrational one. To the point where a weekend off or a missed session felt as if all the progress I had made would instantly dwindle and I’d have the same mountain to climb all over again. A PT will tell you that rest days are good, overtraining, not good, but sometimes you just need to see it for yourself.
So, when gyms reopened, I tested my strength and had a look at myself physically. My strength went down roughly between 15/25% depending on the exercise or body part and aside from some more fat amassing around my tummy I didn’t particularly look different. Even that was mainly down to my diet not really a lack of training in the gym.
Now comes the real revelation, and it is where we have to drop the dating metaphor (you’ll see why) because I realised from those workout dates that I actually wanted to date all of them. Not something I recommend doing if you ever want to get serious about the training you are doing or the person you are seeing. Specificity is key. But it is important in the sense that it has helped me break away from that toxic relationship and realise what I want, how I want to train, and more importantly how I want to live.
When I come home, I don’t want to feel that being active means I have to go to the gym, I want to enjoy a walk with my mum (potentially borrowing a dog for company), a cycle with my Dad, and be content missing a gym session to have a pint/ catch up with my mates. That is what lockdown has given to me. It has changed my definition of being active and whilst I look forward to the gyms being reopened, you won’t catch me missing a sunny day to lift weights. You’ll catch me out walking, cycling, socialising, drinking, getting my vitamin D and so much more because that’s what I want in my life now instead.
So, I leave you with the question, what have you learned during lockdown?
Thanks again,
Lee
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