It Is What It Is

Yup, we are back with some more basic words. Words that at face value can have very little meaning. It’s a phrase you’ve heard people throw about on Love Island or casually said in general everyday conversation. However, it occurred to me recently how useful it has the potential to be.

Some people have adopted it as a mindset, and it is a very good one to apply for instances where aspects of life are out of control. Are other people's opinions, feelings, or actions affecting you? Something from the past is gaining a lot of airtime in your thoughts? The thought of getting older is weighing heavily upon you? Are you trying to please everyone? Maybe it is simply that the weather is getting to you or is it the traffic jam you are sat in on your way to work?

These are all areas that to some extent there is little we can actually do. Sure you could've left for work earlier, but maybe you left at the same time you always leave, and today that just wasn't early enough. Or maybe there is something you could have done differently so that the opinions, feelings, or actions of that person were different? Then again how do you know it would work and if it did would that difference necessarily be better?

It can be reframed in many ways and by doing so, yes, we may learn something, but should we maybe ask ourselves if we are learning something, or just beating ourselves up over something for no good reason? That isn’t for me to decide or advise but I hope it’s something that you believe is worth considering.

It may lead us back to this phrase, “It is what it is”. After doing what I usually do and natter on about some background before getting to my story and my point. Here is the reason why I wanted to mention this today. It came from a conversation with a great friend of mine who was speaking to a professional regarding mantras as they tackle a challenge they are facing.

Often difficulties arise in a moment, in the present. We can't get our mind off what just happened. The comment that was made, the chase up email from the boss on the work that is due, the traffic jam we are stuck in, the food craving we are battling, the ex-partner or friend we want to message, the clothes we want to buy, the comment we wish we had said in a moment but didn't. Goodness knows what else. These in the moment thoughts rattle around our brains like a bubble in a can (Reference, Bryn from Gavin & Stacey ;)).

Personally, these thoughts mainly trouble me as I try to sleep. I go from watching the Tv or reading my book and falling asleep to wide awake as soon as the lights are off and my head hits the pillow. Replying scenarios, I can’t change. A funnier example being an embarrassing time a mate tricked me into asking out a girl who he knew had a boyfriend but more to the point I also should’ve b***** known it. Naivety at best on my part.

Anyway, in these moments I have found repeating the phrase “It is what it is” quite calming and almost meditative as I hush my mind into focusing only on those 5 simple words. By no means am I saying I’ve cracked the sleep routine, and this always works and will work for you. But in the moments where your brain may be clouded causing potentially unnecessary worry. Using this simple mantra may help.

So, I will leave with another mantra from Jack Jarvis Esquire, to conclude and summarise this piece of writing:

“When life hands you melons, make melonade.”

Thanks for reading. I appreciate you taking the time to do so.

Lee